Late Friday afternoon Joel and I had been out on errands and going on our weekly date. We pulled into the restaurant parking lot while I was on the phone with my sweet friend Carolyn. Joel motioned that he would run in and put our name in for a table. After about 2 minutes I turned the key off and thought I was going to wrap up our conversation, when she told me that the doctors made the decision to stop the chemo treatments. Her cancer is too aggressive! June 14th they do bone,and brain scans to see if it has spread into those areas.

It was such a hot day and sitting in that hot car with no air circulating and sweat literally dripping down my face and neck, felt suffocating, yet eerily I found comfort in it. I refused to put the key in and turn the air back on. I felt paralyzed for my friend. What words do I say? How can I be a source of strength and encouragement when I want to cry uncontrollably?

I just started praying through my sobs. I have NO memory of what I said. Maybe it was the Holy Spirit maybe just my emotional blabbering...Who knows! I haven't heard Carolyn cry much, but when she does, it pierces my heart! She knows, I know, my children even know...That we are all going..someday..sometime. The when and how are mysteries, until it is either revealed(ie:cancer,etc)or it happens(ie:car accident,etc)

While we believe from a spiritual stand point, it's the flesh that struggles. Often I battle with God with why he made us love so deep? But, then He reminds me, I wouldn't be able to feel His deep grace without a desire to love deep.

It seemed like time went completely still! It was so weird. Then 25 minutes later that sweet desire of loving deep,took over again, and I couldn't wait to feel Joels arms around me. We are not meant to suffer alone! Wether it's a spouse, friend, parent, sibling, or spiritual brother/sister! God designed us to be in community!
I am blessed with a deep loving man of God! I felt kind of awkward sitting in the restaurant crying. I didn't want anyone to think this amazing man had hurt me, but indeed was a very real source of comfort.Please don't suffer alone! Seek out someone to help walk you through whatever suffering you are in!

Carolyn and her husband Jim will be moving here to the Dallas area very soon. Laurie their daughter has been house hunting for them. Please be in prayer for them as they battle through this transitional journey. Please pray that they will continue to feel God's presence surrounding them.

Thank you for your wonderful care and sweet concern. I appreciate you.